Extracting the word “diet” from your vocabulary may vastly improve your relationship with food. The word “diet” is often attached to some finish line, an expiration date or a destiny that ultimately set us up for failure. In fact, “named diets”are indicative that we have a short term solution to our long term desire. Diets are not forever, and if we can’t do it forever we never really commit to lasting change. Ask yourself, how many times in the last 5-10 years have you had a different name for how you eat?


Most crash diets consist of shedding a number of unwanted pounds in a short amount of time by excluding certain macronutrients (i.e. carbohydrates) while magically “jump starting” the metabolism. This doctrine, which holds no real scientific weight, has been a long standing quasi method to weight loss that has persistently failed long term. 

In truth, aggressive and excessive caloric deficits for extended periods can lead to metabolic adaptations that negatively affect body composition including a greater than expected reduction in resting energy expenditure (BMR). Furthermore,

these patterns of behavior can severely impact our relationship with food.  Our mind starts to believe that certain foods are “bad” and can never be consumed or enjoyed again. This may create a love/hate relationship with our food that can trigger an unbalanced emotional state consisting of negative self talk. 

Most notably, these early stages of “dieting” are often enthusiastic with the sneaky intention to hatch a quick fix following the rules of a particular “named diet” approach. Consequently, many of us never really learn how to develop a healthy marriage with our food and sustain a balanced nutrition plan long term. Exhausting serial diets, coupled with the lack of personal commitment and scientific knowledge, drive most folks back to the comfort of the familiar unhealthy intake habits never grasping that elusive, sought after permanent lifestyle change.

Nutrition, as opposed to “dieting” is how we feed and sustain our body over the long haul. The key is to persist with our healthy nutrition plan as if it were a permanent lifestyle pattern.


On a deeper level, the real problem is that many humans live their lives based on circumstantial events…

The voice in the head may say things like, “when I make more money, I’ll be free. If I could just lose 20 pounds then I’ll be ok and right where I need to be.”  Where are we rushing off to? We often want to get “there” so we can be done and have closure. Closure of what? To get where? Here and now is the only place we have to be. In fact, it’s the only place we can be.

Reaching this so-called destiny path is ordinarily nothing more than some momentary egoic victory or defeat that often gives us consent to remain in neutral and perhaps depressed.


“If you only focus on results you haven’t surrendered to the possibility of real change, it’s resistance…”


So, my question to you is this: 

What if instead of “I’ll believe it when I see it, it’s I’ll see it when I believe it?”

What if it were YOU who had to change first? What if it turns out that real change doesn’t depend on external circumstances? Have you ever realized that you can “be there” right now? 

What if you gave yourself permission to practice healthy self care?  To choose to care for yourself the way you wanted instead of these automated and rigid “life” rules in your head? I’m talking about all this negative data in your head and misinformed ideas you have about yourself…your limited thinking.

If you only focus on results you haven’t surrendered to the possibility of real change, it’s resistance.

What if you threw out the rule book and embraced the journey?  Kind of like a surrender, like an authentic surrender. A newly developed awareness where you’ve decided to truly care for yourself. It doesn’t mean you can never screw up and indulge again. It just means you’re in the process of developing and committing to this new relationship of self care. Remember, YOU have the authority to choose how you want to feel today. 


What if the vision can be working towards an AIM instead of a goal, destination, or an expiration date? If you really think about it, all we’re ever doing is “aiming” in life. Are we ever really “there?”

 One day at a time, one moment at a time. Maybe perceive the nutritional journey as an exciting and courageous endeavor instead of fear, dread, negativity and self doubt? Maybe it’s an opportunity to be kind and compassionate with yourself to truly get what you need? Maybe for the first time in your life? What if your excess weight wasn’t a problem, only a situation? Maybe perceive your excess weight as a gift? An awakening? A new awareness to change your relationship with yourself? 

To realize that you matter and it’s ok to get what you need?

Sometimes the challenge is the most beautiful part of the adventure, because you can randomly look in the mirror during the journey and say, “I’m doing it!” You animate what you place your awareness on. So why not place you awareness on the very best? Change is good, and change is OK. And, change is inevitable and out of our power most of the time. Let it happen.


Our truest duty is to be gentle and kind with ourselves.

Today, I’m giving you permission to let you know that you are worthy to get what you need for you, to choose take care of yourself.

You don’t have to wait to be happy or to feel complete. You don’t have to wait to be ready to make healthier choices based on life’s circumstances. And, you don’t have to be thinner to feel at peace. It’s ok to be ok right now. You are not deficient. There is nothing wrong with you, there never was. You are OK. 

So, it’s OK to elevate your attention on self care and love yourself. And, if that means shedding fat pounds, so be it. 


—“Time is the greatest obstacle to feeling complete.” We always need more time. And, it’s a lie.